How did we get here? This is the question Brandi and I asked each other as we stood over our sweet Tate’s grave a couple weeks ago. It seems like everything since April 11, 2013 has been a blur and as reality continues to set in the sting only seems to get sharper.

We have had to make decisions that no parent should ever have to make. As I write this we have been in the midst of deciding what we should put on our child’s headstone. We want Tate to be in our arms so badly, celebrating all of his amazing milestones. We want to kiss his cheeks and watch him scoot across the floor. We want to cuddle him as he falls asleep and think about how we can make his life as wonderful as possible. Instead we are picking out his headstone and reflecting on his amazing life.

How did we get here? I am not sure if I can write out what happened leading up to Tate returning to our Heavenly Father. It was very unexpected and very shocking and the details of that week are so vivid to Brandi and I. Brandi and I have replayed that week in our minds more than you could ever imagine, it is still so fresh and painful to think that it really happened.

We love our little Tate so much and our hearts ache to be with him again. The pain is unbearable at times and all we can do is hug Lexi and Hunter and do our best to help each other get through it. The hardest part for me is knowing there is nothing I can do to help take the pain away from Brandi and the kids. This is a tough thing we all have to deal with and it breaks my heart to see Brandi and the kids hurting so badly because they miss our little buddy.

We are so grateful for everyone that has supported us through it all! We can never thank everyone enough for all of the love and support our family has received.

We have created a website for Tate where we have written down a lot of our memories and anyone is free to write blog posts about Tate for our family to have forever. We want to keep the website private, so you have to register first then you can share any memories or stories you may have. We read through it often and we are grateful for everyone that has contributed so far. The website is, TateJacobson.com.

We love and miss our little buddy! The only thing that keeps us going is the knowledge that we will be with him again someday and that our family can be forever.